Wishing for a Requiem
by RedPen
Summary: (ugh! summary!) Kikyou may not be what she seems. How will Inuyasha react? please r/r, t'will make the little ramen imps happy!
1. Capture

AN: Poem at the end of the chapter by Stephen Crane, via Stephen King's "Four Past Midnight"  
Kikyou stumbled, her eyes filling with tears of ... of what? Sorrow? Fatigue? Could the dead feel either? She had seen him again. Inuyasha.  
  
Yes, she knew now he had not killed her. That Kagome girl had told her it was Naraku, but Kikyou herself had known far before that. And yet there was a drive against Inuyasha none the less in her, and she could not go against it.Perhaps that witch who had resurrected her had had a grudge against Inuyasha? But Kikyou couldn't think of the two even meeting. There was nothing in the past that could make her feel the way she felt now, could there? No, he had never even scratched her when "hunting" her, and had afterwards protected her just the way he did...  
  
...Kagome.  
  
That was it! Was jealousy still in her unbeating heart? Kikyou's panting mouth turned at its corners in a scowl. Jealousy? This the woman who had been ignored by her father whom she had idolized? Who had watched others benefit by her works while she herself had but two friends, Kaede and Inuyasha?  
  
There he was again... Had she really been that lonely? She had had no time to pity herself while protecting the village, caring for the young children, and purifying that accursed jewel. But she had been , hadn't she? The children grew and forgot her, and her sister had still been very young when Kikyou herself was killed. But Inuyasha, she had seen something in his eyes. Had it been pity for this woman he looked at? She had mustered all of her courage and spilled her life to him, telling him how she felt so left out, perhaps how a hanyou like himself felt. And his emotions had changed and he had cared for her.  
  
Had he even loved her?  
  
She had, by the gods, and she would have giving her undying life for him. No, even more. She had giving him the Shikon, and though she had trusted him to turn human, he could have wished the greatest evil on the land with that power she had given him.  
  
But she had loved him, and somehow she knew he too had loved her. And he had agreed to change, and change for her. The only gift she had ever been given, and yet Naraku saw that she could not benefit from his love.  
  
Kikyou fell to the forest floor, her body writhing with sorrow. She curled to the fetal position, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. Damn him! Damn Naraku! He had done the worst to her that any living thing had done to another- he had killed her slowly and then resurrected her to see what she cared for most ripped away from her. And for what? The jewel, the power? Or just for pleasure?  
  
"Pathetic Kikyou, spoiled child.." A voice whispered nearby. Her eyes still clouded from her death and wet with tears, looked over and she screamed in anger and frustration. There crouched Naraku. his baboon hood pushed back so she could see his face.  
  
" I brought you back from the dead, Kikyou. I am your..saviour." He said quietly with a smirk. "And yet you do not do the simple things I ask you to do..."  
  
"I gave you Inuyasha's shards, bastard!" She sobbed," I gave you what you wanted! Let me be!"  
  
"Ahh, but you didn't listen to my last order. I remember saying, Kikyou.." He lower his head and whispered into her ear," To kill that accursed Inuyasha, Kikyou. Then together we can feast upon his blood and benefit from the power. And then the Shikon will be complete, and the world will be mine. Ours. Won't that be nice?" He pulled a shard out of his cloak. Kikyou squirmed and screamed, but he easily slid the small crystal into the nape of her neck. She fell limp and Naraku stood up, pulling her up with him. She stood on wobbly legs, her face blank and cold.  
  
"Now you will go and kill Inuyasha, and bring back his companions and the few shards they have with them." He ordered.  
  
"Hai, Naraku-sama."  
  
"And when you return you shall report directly to the castle.'  
  
"Hai, Naraku-sama."  
"Now go, and get to the village by sundown. Do you understand?"  
  
Kikyou nodded and bowed before going off, her face still damp with tears, but the sorrow she had held was gone. Naraku smiled. A line from an old story popped in his head and he quoted it aloud, walking through the foggy forest back to his home.  
  
"In the desert  
  
I saw a creature, naked, bestial  
  
Who, squatting upon the ground  
  
Held his heart in his hands  
  
And ate of it  
  
And I said to him, 'Is it good friend?'  
  
And to me he said 'It is bitter-bitter, but I like it"  
  
"Because it is bitter'" 


	2. Chained Away

AN: yay! Reviews! And, yes, I feel like an idiot Angel wing, for switching the frikin' review thingy where only signed author could review *pouts in corner* Right! Annnyway, here's chapter 2!(oop! PS, Taiyoukai is Inu's pop cuz I say so)**  
  
Kikyou screamed, clawed at the blackness swirling around her. She was captive in her own mind, peering powerlessly out of her own eyes to the foggy forest beyond. Her body marched on, but her mind begged it to stop. For the real Kikyou resided in her conscience, a place that was often chained shut by Naraku's shards.  
  
She never hated Inuyasha. Sure, when the witch first brought her back she was just enraged at having to come back.... She had gone to death to meet Inuyasha, to see him and to touch him again. But Kagome had stopped her again.  
  
But could she blame the girl? She really was just Kikyou herself, in a way. Sometimes in her dreams Kikyou saw through Kagome's eyes, saw her looking lovingly into the golden eyes of the hanyou. He always and blushed and turned away, muttering about how he had to go find one of their ridiculous allies. Kikyou could feel herself smile, remembering times long past. He had always been a shy man underneath his cold exterior, that barrier she had worked so hard at melting But Kagome had easily accessed it, it seemed. Perhaps she was wrong, Kikyou considered as her body trudged through the wood. Perhaps this Kagome was no real reincarnation, but merely a coincidental woman with an appearance close to that of her own. After all, she had been a cold priestess, not the bubbly student Kagome. She had been dull, and had never truly reflected the caring motives of Inuyasha. But this Kagome was always at his side, smiling her cheerful little smile, her high pitched giggle echoing through the silence that Inuyasha and Kikyou had though of as usual. She never seemed to wind down, never seemed to be stopped by the sorrow that seemed to intoxicate the air of feudal Japan.  
  
With a groan of defeat Kikyou once again stopped her feeble attempts of regaining the control of her body. Her knees rose to her chest and her head rested upon them as she tried to fall asleep, to try and escape the confines of her endless life. She had tried so many times to stop it, to stop her breath from entering her still lungs, to remove the blood that swished dully through her veins. But each time the shards Naraku had cursed her with stopped her at the last second, making her lungs accept another breath of stale air. It was ironic that she, the guardian of the Shikon Jewel, was being defeated by it. But she had no time to think of even the smallest bit of humor in her torturing life, her every moment wasted to stopped her own body from killing her beloved.  
  
And to add to that, the one she protected now hated her. Kikyou knew now, knew as she watched him save Kagome instead of herself. Did he even care that the retched Naraku had her tied around his finger, slowly cutting away at her soul until she would reach the brink of sanity? She had been so kind to him, stopped the men of the village from hunting him. She knew that he was powerful in his own right, but against a group of trained killers? She had always guided him away from their demon huntings, put her own life on the line. And he had forgotten this all because a new pretty face had appeared, one that could barely hold a bow the correct way? This Kagome could never save his life, and he would dedicate his life to worrying about her well being and fighting for her safety. If only Inuyasha hadn't been so macho, if only he hadn't followed in his father's footsteps, Kagome's handicap might have gained Kikyou Inuyasha's love. But Inuyasha followed Taiyoukai's path, and fell in love with a mortal woman with little to no physical protection. Kikyou laughed bitterly as she gazed through her eyes. 'If only' was a fool's only words, and she had no right to live by it. And now soon she would reach her younger sister's village, and what would happen then? 


	3. Memories

Kikyou had changed so much. Inuyasha's heart shattered as he looked at her, her glossy black hair tangled in dirty strips. Her eyes were ringed with black and red, the mixture of crying and the insomnia that came with surviving off another person's soul. She had once been so beautiful... so kind. He had often watched her play with the children of the village, teaching them stories and different skills. She had loved children so much, and was always like a mother to them. Kaede had been spoiled by her, and the two had prospered even without the help of their cruel father. Kikyou had had such a hard life, tortured by her skills. Her father hated her because she was a better priest than he, the villagers felt uncomfortable around her. The only people who found her no different were the children, lost in their young innocence.  
  
And Inuyasha himself, of course. He had lived similarly, with people fearing him and demons hating him. He had been lost for so long, wandering aimlessly when he had found another wanderer, Kikyou. They both lived in void between human and demon, both with powers superior to others. She had just received the jewel then, the horrible thing handed to her pure fifteen year old hand. She hoped that perhaps, if she could purify it, her duties would be done and she could put away the powers that she had been cursed with.  
  
They had sat together many a night, watching the stars and discussing their future. Both were the children of leaders, Inuyasha the son of the demon lord Taiyoukai and Kikyou the daughter of the Kiyamari village leader. He remembered the summer nights like dreams, paddling through the evening silence in a village canoe. The waters had glowed with orange from the sun sets, setting the waters aflame. She had sung for him one or twice, her voice think and sultry, as rich as the laughter of the nymphs that lined the glowing waters. She had always sat behind him in the thin log canoe, staring at his silky milk hair and envying his adorable inu ears. Often curiosity had overtaken her and she had stroked those velvety ears, gaining almost a purr from the dog hanyou. She always laughed, her companion so like the mutts that roamed the village roads. She always added that he was more handsome, under her breath as he sulked in front of her for being called a dog. Little did she know those dog-like ears were more than just decoration, and Inuyasha gloated silently at the praise Kikyou whispered.  
  
Of course he had easily fallen in love with the woman. He practically stalked her, quietly watching from roof tops and tree branches. Kikyou knew this, of course, but she enjoyed the feeling of his gold eyes on her back, on her face. He had even caught her bathing a few times, which had curtained his face in a crimson blush when he realized why she was untying her obi at the water's edge. He wasn't a dirty demon, after all, and always left until she was finished. When he was gone Kikyou would sink into the warmth of the village's hot spring, the steam cloaking her face like a delicate lace. Sometimes she wished her hanyou wouldn't leave, that she could peek over the steam and see his shadow lurking in the jade branches above. She cursed herself for thinking so, but what was a love struck girl to do?  
  
One day it seemed her prayers were answered. As she lounged in the hot waters she heard a crackling, and looked around to see a figure crouched in a nearby bush. He was peeping! Her face filled with a blush and her heart raced as she dipped herself lower into the pool. She considered her options: to cry out or to stay silent and gloat secretly at his peeking. She thought of the outcomes, but in the mean time he seemed to make the choice for her, and the shadow slowly creeped out of the foliage. But something was wrong. Kikyou realized too late that the figure was not clothed in a red kimono but a dirty brown tunic, and gasped as the the thing dashed into the pool with demonic speed. It had two ox horns, curved with vile, blood stained tips pointing inward. He, for it was definitely a male, had huge bloodshot eyes dwarfing the rest of his face, and a jagged scar drifting down his cheek. He looked at her hungrily with those eyes as he grasped her with one arm around her waist and hoisted her clear of the water. He slung her across his back like luggage and exited the spring just as quickly as he had entered it. Her screams shattered the surreal silence in the forest as they dashed away, leaving her clothes by the spring.  
  
"What will screaming do, mortal?" The ox demon croaked snidely below her. "I am Xiao! Not a human in this measly world could kill me!" The forest whipped by in a blur, wind slapping thick wet strands of hair against Kikyou's face. Inuyasha... She was going to die here because of her ignorance. Because she was a human now. Because of her love.  
  
Inuyasha...  
  
She had sacrificed her powers, her strength to the hungry jewel so she could be with Inuyasha. With her power in the jewel he could become a human and they could live together forever, live normal lives. She was to bring him the jewel on the moonless night where he would become a human, and he would trap his demon blood away forever. That night was only weeks away. Kikyou's life, love was so close, but was this gift now going to be erased by a lowly Chinese ox?  
  
"Inuyasha!" 


End file.
